An Analysis

After wasting about 16 hours a week for the past six months of my life performing various positions at Fazoli’s I’ve obviously done a great deal of pasta-related thinking. I’ve learned more unimportant information about certain people than I even thought possible. The capacity of my memory taken up by work incidents is pathetic. But there’s a certain amount of information you can attain about a person by dealing with their appetite. From their food choice to their treatment of the person communicating it, you can learn about insecurities, obsessions and particularly manners.

You’d think the first part of the dining experience would be with the customer’s order, but you can actually tell something about the customer’s personality from where they park. Of course they’re lazy, they park as close to the door as possible, that’s easy. It’s less easy to spot the Obsessive Compulsives who conveniently place their cars right in front of the dumpster. I imagine these customers giggling to themselves, daring anyone to go close enough to the stench of the trash to ding their doors. There’s always a ridiculously sized SUV near the back door, dangerously squeezed between some kind of sports car and a beat-up truck with a baby seated inside. I’ve seen too many CSI’s to believe it’s all right to leave your child unattended in the car for even ten minutes; they could fry or get stolen.

Then, of course, there’s their door opening method. It’s interesting to watch certain people open doors. Usually those in large groups tend to be polite and hold the door for one another, but then there are often particular individuals who refuse to touch the door at all, instead they stick their hands in their sleeves or use only their elbows and feet to get the door open. And of course there are also people who find it necessary to touch the glass as much as possible, usually after they’ve just watched someone wash all the fingerprints off.

Then of course is the customer’s method of ordering, and their modification of the dish they’re requesting. Of course there are some people who stand at the front of the line looking from left to right for several minutes without allowing someone else to take their place, and then there are those who march straight up to the front and know exactly what they want to eat. There are certain people who return almost daily to order the same thing, and know what they want removed or added to their meal to fit their liking. There are large old men who don’t like their spaghetti and meatballs unless it’s accompanied by meat sauce instead of marinara, and people who’d rather pay an extra $1.25 for their kid’s pasta to be drowned with broccoli that won’t be eaten than let the child go without vegetables for a single meal. There are also a select few who enjoy pasta without any sauce, and they’re usually not under the age of ten either. If they don’t want their sauce completely removed, sometimes people would rather have it on the side, which I don’t understand, it’s not like you’re going to dip one spaghetti noodle at a time into your 4oz cup…or maybe you are.

Of course, ordering doesn’t only take place at the front counter. We also have a drive-thru, which is my personal favorite. Mainly because you don’t have to pretend to be happy for too long, you’re also free from dealing with the customer face to face, besides taking their money and giving them their food. Of course, people in drive-thru tend to be particularly difficult about their orders. If they’re not screaming or mumbling, they’re probably mispronouncing or mixing the names of items. It doesn’t help that Fazoli’s can’t call their sandwiches subs or something normal, but they have to be “submarinos” and of course the “supremo submarino” that doesn’t sound Italian to me, it sounds more Mediterranean. Like finding a submarine in the Mediterranean Ocean, not like a dry sandwich with four kinds of meat on it. They also have a particularly difficult time pronouncing the word penne. There’s a dish called a “chicken broccoli penne bake” and a “penne with creamy basil chicken”, but they’re more often referred to as the “peenie with creamy broccoli chicken”. Yes, peenie, of course I can’t help but smile every time I hear that. There are also people who like to repeat their order without giving any clue that they’re repeating it, then they get upset if you think they’re continuing it and actually want two of everything. I feel like they have control issues and are more content with their food if they know they were able to boss you around a little in order to receive it. There are also those who mumble their orders and then drive up to the window and you have no clue what they actually said, because they mumbled something when you tried to ask them if what you think they wanted was correct. Then when you ask again at the window they agree with whatever you said, even when you can tell they have no idea what that item actually is. These people are usually shy and indecisive.

With such a wide variety of menu items it’s also not uncommon to interact with people who not only can’t decide what they want, but refuse to settle on anything plain. They usually choose chicken parmesano, which doesn’t have any parmesan cheese in it, so the name is completely irrelevant, kind of like tortellini and sun dried tomato rustico. It’s not rustic, it’s fast food. So instead of just having spaghetti or fettuccini Alfredo, these people would rather eat some dry baked pasta and sauce with a chunk of breaded chicken loaf in it. Sounds delicious? There are also people of course who can’t figure out what the meals are supposed to include. They either want everything to come with a drink, or they get offended because they ordered a combo meal and they don’t want a combo, but they can’t figure out what the word entrée means. Or they look at you like you’re crazy if you ask if they would like a slice of pizza or a side salad. This is why the new menu has a picture above the combo meal section with a picture of a drink and a slice of pizza OR a side salad. Although people still enjoy ignoring the sign and treating you like you’re the crazy one.

Luckily, Fazoli’s has free breadsticks. Everyone loves free food, so it’s not uncommon for people to try to eat as much of it as humanly possible. Personally I think this is disgusting. Then again I don’t even like breadsticks, particularly ours after having to look at them for so long. Customers get very insecure if they don’t think they’re going to get their breadsticks though. We’re not supposed to put bread with bread, so if they don’t get breadsticks with their sandwich people usually start to freak out. They also get upset if the bread isn’t out of the oven as soon as they go up to ask for it. Then if they’re already mad about having to get up in the first place, they start badgering the employees about why the breadsticks aren’t brought around to them. Well, I for one don’t want to carry around breadsticks and hand them to you. Nor do I want to put them on paper and hand them to you, but at least I don’t have to interrupt your conversation.

The best part of having a job of course is the money, but I actually value the experiences I’ve had from working there. It’s easier to be accepting of slow cashiers now, and I’m less likely to be happy with an incorrect order from a rude associate. Working with the public also makes it easier to start conversations with people you don’t know, and it helps you acquire skills for the future. Not to mention I can count exact change ridiculously quickly. And of course, it makes you hyperaware of your manners towards people you don’t know, and their attitude towards you.